How To support Someone With BPD

Supporting someone with borderline personality disorder can feel overwhelming at times but your compassion and understanding can make an incredible difference. People with BPD often experience emotions more intensely which can affect relationships, self image and coping. Here are some ways you can help.

  • Listen Without Judgement 

-Let them share their feelings even if they seem "too much".

-Avoid dismissing their pain with phrases like "you’re overreacting" or "it’s not that bad".

-Sometimes they don't need advice, just presence and validation.


  • Validate Their Feelings 

-Try saying things like "i can see this is very overwhelming for you" or "Your feelings are valid".

-Validation doesn't mean you agree, it means you understand.

  • Learn about BPD

-Educate yourself on the symptoms and challenges.

-Understanding what they're going through helps reduce the frustration and stigma.


  • Encourage Healthy Coping 

-Suggest grounding or self soothing activities together (like walking, breathing exercises and journaling). 

-Support them in using coping skills instead of unsafe behaviours.


  • Respect Boundaries

-BPD can involve fears of abandonment and closeness both can feel intense

-Be clear and consistent with your own boundaries while still showing care.

  • Stay Patient During Crisis

-Remember that crisis passes even when emotions feel unbearable in the moment.

-Offer calm support "I’m here for you. You’re not alone".

-Encourage them to use a crisis plan or professional resources if needed.

  • Take Care Of Yourself Too

-Supporting someone with BPD can be emotionally draining.

-Make time for your own mental health and self-care.


Most importantly: 

Remind them that they are not their diagnosis. Your compassion, consistency and belief in them can help break the cycle of shame and bring hope for recovery.